Happiness is a Decision Not a Destination
Lately I’ve been wondering, what if I get everything I’ve been working for and it doesn’t make me happy?
I always remember this question from Inky Johnson, “what’s more important on a mission: what you get or who you become?”…Even tho I know the process is more important than the destination, I can’t help but wonder how I’m gonna feel about the end results.
Will it be fulfilling? Will it be worth the time I sacrificed with my sons? Will it be worth the financial mazes I put myself in over in over again? The stress of watching other ppl’s lives on social media and knowing I could have consistent tropical vacations and a high-rise apartment if I wasn’t trying to build a media company…. Sometimes I’m surprised I still have hair 😂
I also wonder if I'm fooling myself by thinking that there is an “end result” or that “the end” actually exists. I’ve hit many goals in life and it never stops. These days I expand my goals as soon as I get remotely close to reaching them. Maybe I don’t feel challenged enough. Maybe I’m afraid to reach the finish line. Maybe I know that when I’m done running this race I won’t have anything left to distract me from myself. Maybe I’ve been running from myself for so long that I’ve convinced myself that I’m chasing something.
I don’t have the answers but I need to tell myself something to stay grounded. So I’ll roll with this:
The present moment is all I truly have. Tomorrow is a fantasy that I may plan for but I can’t control. If I can’t enjoy this moment, with all I’ve overcame and accomplished in life, I probably won’t enjoy the next. We’ve been conditioned to associated happiness with love and the completion of a journey. Graduating, buying a home, getting a job.
The diploma or degree is great but the focus it took to obtain the degree is more impressive. The house is great and the dedication and ability to sacrifice and more impressive. The job is great and the metal fortitude to keep applying after all the decline letters and failed interviews is more impressive. Even if I don’t get the “thing” at the end, I’ve still became a better person thru the process. That’s the part that should be celebrated. That’s the part no one can take. So that’s the part I should find happiness in. The process. Embracing everything that comes with every moment and not looking to the finish line.